1998-04-01 - blinx

ENTRY FROM PHYSICAL DIARY:

Wednesday, April 1, 1998

Beloved Diary,

Today I felt tired and somewhat frustrated. Seeing Jorge in class didn’t help. He, again, tried to sit as far away from me as he could, but he wasn’t early enough to do so. He had to sit an arm’s length from me. He did occasionally turn his head to look to see if I was staring at him. And you know what, I was only doing so when he was checking. I don’t know why that always happens. You try to look without staring and in that moment that person turns and sees you looking. I felt ashamed for the things I had done in the past and ashamed for dragging him and Efren into the awful, low-budget independent film that my life had become in High School. If he only knew what I’ve done just to see him, to see him smile. I did however tell him what he did for me with that one smile he did give to that afternoon outside the school. However, I now regret having sent him that seven-page letter. Oh well, can’t take it now.

I felt better when I saw Marcos Miller at the bus stop on the way home. He is so comprehensive that it confuses me. In the past I wondered if he was really like this or if it was just an act, but now there is no doubt that the same attribute that made him dull in high school makes him very desirable. I told him what happened with Jorge today. He didn’t seem to mind listening to my petty problems and that is what will make him the greatest friend to someone worthy of his trust.

I almost forgot, I e-mailed Michael. According to his e-mail, he turned 31, finally.

Narf.

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