1998-09-28 - 03:17:00

Monday, September 28, 1998

Beloved Diary,

(It is past midnight. I don’t know what time exactly, though. I am rewriting this later...rewritten on April 25, 2000.) This weekend was different. My grandparents and uncle were away for the entire weekend. I almost felt normal because I felt as if I was at home, my own home. For you see, Beloved, we still live in my grandparents’ house. Whenever we are the only ones at the house for at least a day, I no longer feel like I’m being strangled.

I am disgusted with all human beings, especially males and myself. (Except for my God, George.) Beloved, if you take away a man’s facade, all you get is a monkey. I aim to be as perfect as possible, stripping away all humanity and emotion. Eventually I will no longer be held back by my consideration of others.

Umm, ∏. I wished I were at California State University with Heidelyn and Frank, and maybe Laura.

It’s late, good bye.

Zort.

(I might see George @ Cal State, too. All right, a win-win situation, night.)

Monday, September 28, 1998

Beloved Diary,

(This was written later, sometime in the morning. Again, I am not sure of the time exactly.) It is now morning. I had the strangest dream since I last wrote to you. It was about my uncle that lives next door. He and everyone in his house moved away in the middle of the night without telling anyone. I assumed they moved to evade creditors. The most surprising part of my dream was that they went as far as to take the windows and doors. The house in the dream looked nothing like the real life house, but I still believed it was the same house.

Another part that I just remembered was that I couldn’t tell if it was night or day. Anyway, I went inside the house and found it dirty and dusty. I looked around and stumbled upon a picture or two that they forgot to take with them. At that exact moment my uncle was standing beside me. He asked for the pictures, took them, and asked me to look for other things he might have forgotten. He didn’t want to leave any evidence, not even of what he looks like. At that point I awoke.

I have to go, bye.

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