1998-03-31 - eep

THIS AN EARLIER ENTRY FROM MY PHYSICAL DIARY:

Tuesday, March 31, 1998

Beloved Diary,

Once more I arrived late to class. This time I was thirty minutes late. I don’t know why I am constantly late. It was not always this way. In high school I was always on time and there even times when I was too early.

I didn’t feel nervous walking into apparel construction class because even if Dr. Davis was lecturing, I could always follow the textbook. I did however panic when I realized I would have to sit near Francisco Garcia, an incredibly cute guy. For some unknown reason, I thought he was White. Now that I had time to examine what developed today, I have determined that he’s of Mexican descent and trying to pass as straight or so it is what I tried to convince myself of.

During class all I could think about was that Francisco and I were the only guys there. I also believed that the girls thought I sat there because I wanted to be buddies with the other fag in the class. I didn’t, maybe. Even Dr. Davis was smirking when she introduced us.

I steadily ignored Francisco throughout the class, which now I sort of regret, sort of. I felt bewildered when he touched the tip of my index finger when he was attempting to show me how to use a tape measure correctly. There was a split second in which I felt a very odd but comforting sensation. At that exact moment, I realize that the whole class was watching us and murmuring. So bad move or not, I decided to ignore him for the rest of the class. That was all I could to calm my paranoia.

Troz.

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