1999-05-13 - 12:47 a.m.

Thursday, May 13, 1999

Dearest Beloved,

It is past midnight and I do believe I have come full circle. Well, I am still working at Pic ‘N’ Slave. May third came and went, but I had to stay at Pic ‘N’ Slave so that I could help my mother pay the rent. And, of course, there’s always those pesky credit card bills that don’t seem to go away. This week my mother wants me to find another job so that she can take a vacation. She hasn’t taken a vacation since we moved to America eleven years ago. All right, so she may have a point in wanting me to be more responsible. Blah, blah, blah…

Anyway, I just finished watching Beautiful Thing on my new VCR. While watching, my ego and I have identified my greatest complex: an immense desire of perfection and grandeur in an oh-so-random, superficial, and cruel world. Why do I have to be so imperfect? Speaking of disappointments, I still think about Jorge. Lately, however, it is Edwin who I am obsessed with.

Back to my new VCR, it’s a Memorex. I don’t think I am going to be happy with it. I already find it slow and boring. It doesn’t even talk. It hums or something. I’ll try not to worry about until it breaks down. That’s the last time I buy electronics at Target.

Things to Do:

 Practice Handwriting

 Rewrite Diary/Journal

 Stop Eating

 Continue To Polish Personality Veneer

 Buy Computer Or Computer Alternative

 Talk to People, Maybe

 Take Lots and Lots of Pills

 Slid My Wrists

 Make Gay Friends, but the not the happy=gay kind of way

 Stop Making to Do Lists

Egad, Brilliant.

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