2007-04-30 - 9:46 p.m.

it finally happened. you can ignore the i'm proud to be a virgin banner. i have lost my virginty and i am feel more alone than ever before. there's so much confusion, loneliness, and melancholy. i've told my co-workers but it's not same as sharing with friends or family. i'm yet to truly knowing friendship. it is no wonder i can not feel enjoyment. aside from the physical pain, the whole thing was nerve wrecking. he was very passionate, but even so, i could not be in the moment. i knew that there could not be the slightlist of chance for a relationship with him but i still slept with him. Ben (Norton) made me feel as human as possible and was extremely passionate, which made it possible to finally give in to a very old physical desire.

previous ~ next