2004-04-18 - 11:52 p.m.

i have, for the time being, given up on friends. i don't have the time or energy for them. this i have said before with a slight yearning to actually have friends, but this time i really don't need them. i have been living with myself inside my thoughts, dreams, and realm of reality. i feel the need to search for more solitude when i become close to making friends.

also, having my cousin live with us has made me think about the possibility of my own sanctuary.

my car did pass the smog check and i got my car registered, however, the back windshield of my car has been shattered by an unknown cause. it caused me to spend three hundred dollars for the windshield and i am yet to find out how much it will cost to replace. the tint has been holding the broken pieces together. i did previously thought of having the tint removed, and i am very glad i did not.

work is different. i no longer work in the glendale galleria. i do, however, work for the same company. now i am in the position of leadership. I do not make as much money as those who are not in leadership but are in more upscale locations. oh snap.

i think i found a way to increase business at work but i must wait to see if it works. i'll let you know.

my belle epoque has not began and it's already april. i'm much the fool. must work on that. i've become consumed by work, but i must make time for everything else. afterall, i do not make as much as my contemporary peer associates.

i shall try to take care of myself and not succumb to my obsessions. this will be very tricky but my newest work location subsides temptation, for now.

i give my cousin and her boyfriends three months until they brake up. so sad, i never really met him.

perhaps i'll spend time with some family members later this year. i want to be part of their lives, even if for a moment. i do want family members at my funeral, even the distant ones-both geographically and emotionally.

previous ~ next