2003-09-05 - 10:50 p.m.

beloved,

not much of increasing importance has occured. i have not spoken to many people. i have visited Xboss. i feel strange. i did miss him but he is not the same. it is understandable. however, i did not think anybody but myself could bring about such behaviour from him. my secret is working out and slowly i expand on the details. no one knows, not even my cousin. i re-learned to keep secrets. it is best that way, no need to involve anyone in case of failure.

i need to purchase another tool. this next tool will bring great pleasure but great pain as well. i have checked and it is legal in california. i will have to purchase it in cash so that no record exists. otherwise, i am feeling better. the annoyance at work is mostly gone, but the smaller annoyances remain.

i do sometimes feel the loneliness creep up on me. but it's all good cause i do what i want. that sounds so retarded. i go now. back to my endless drinking.

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