2003-07-17 - 11:22 p.m.

dearest beloved,

i am becoming undone, isolated, decimated, transparent, incoherent, empty, distant, meaningless, senseless, dreary, obsolete, controlled, stepped on, unfeeling, demented, inconsiderate, selfish, invalid, voided, insincere, utterly useless, outdated, archaic, antiquated, and most importantly, i can't change. no matter how hard i try, i just keep being who i have been pretending to be because i did not allow my true self to evolve or emerge. i await the karma police. that or, the fashion police.

la cruz is gone. does it matter? others die, do they matter? do famous people matter because they are famous or because they are plainly people?

reach for the luna.

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