2002-06-19 - 11:52 p.m.

beloved,

i was thinking of drawing strength from my dark and mean side but i stopped to think about why i haven't drawn strength from my nice, lovely side. i should try this first for the first time. if this does not work, i will go back to drawing strength from anger, bitterness, and depression. i musn't forget vengeance.

i don't feel like using fancy words tonight to express my bland emotions. my mind is bleeding. this does not upset me. only the people i come in contact with annoy me. maybe except for family...they are allowed to annoy me.

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