2001-12-20 - 1:55 a.m.

Dearest Beloved,

Love is...I don't know what love is. I do know that I had felt it before, but cannot describe it fully or partially. I can live without it but do wonder what it is. I do want to know what all the fuzz is about. I haven't used the phrase, "I love you" in the longest time. I haven't even said it to my parents, whom I think I do love, that I love them. Previously I told my mom that I do, but only because she would get sad if I don't. Just because I don't know what love is doesn't mean I'm cruel. It just means that I don't or can't care for someone so much that I would give up my own life. Isn't that one of the things someone would do for the person they love--give up their life? I would probably give my life to save another, but not for love, just for the sake of humanity. Or maybe just to be considerate, either way, I don't know Love.

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