2001-10-06 - 12:43 a.m.

Dearest Beloved,

I found my cousin's buddy list. Ewww, the people on there are really, really boring. My attempt on getting to know my older, more distant cousin was a total failure. My sub-conscious might want my cousin get mad at me so that it is her that breaks our straining connection. Perhaps. I don't know. I won't try anymore. My needs are not a priority as are the needs of my immediate family. Although I think of her as my sister, she's not my immediate family and, in reality, she does not need me as much as I wanted to believe.

No beginning, no end.

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