2001-09-24 - 1:22 a.m.

Dearest Beloved,

I just finished leaving my cousin a note of her diaryland page. She has to make her own mistakes, otherwise it won't be her life she's living.

In other none interesting news, I, also, just finished watching 'Unbreakable' starring Bruce Willis and that guy from 'Pulp Fiction.' No, not John Travolta, the other guy. Oh yeah, Samuel L. Jackson. Anyway, it reminded me, well that movie and 'Hannibal,'that I have a role in this world. I remembered what I do best and that there's a purpose to me being this way. The more I tried to be something I wasn't, the more it became apparent that I'm the extreme opposite of what I always wanted to be. I was blinded by my jealousy of that kind of incredible power. All that time could have used to harness my own power and true destiny.

It is sad to me that I could possibly hurt people I care about. And I do care for these people as much as I am capable of, but I cannot deny my nature. That doesn't mean I can't continue living as I have been, but it does mean truly focusing on what is imminently important.

Well speaking of that...I have to go to sleep to get things done in the morning.

Feel better my cousin. And I'll see if we can go out this Wednesday. Maybe see a movie or bowling...?

One slight hint: forcing yourself to not think about him, makes you think about him more. Obsessions are close enough to love, so this could apply to your case.

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