2001-09-10 - 12:33 a.m.

Dearest Beloved,

I totally forgot about seeing Alvin the other at Pic N S...let's just my work place. Anyway, I saw him and almost past him by without even noticing him. He said hi and ask if I was still gay. My jaw dropped figuratively and I told him that I didn't know that I had started.

He got kicked out from school again for having bad grades. He now wants to be a D.J. or music producer or blah, blah, blah. I wasn't really listening. I just kept trying to remember what he looked like before.

I have started to really examine people's faces. There is a period around one's early twenties where the face sets into your mature face. It sort of gets fatter and your strong features blend in to the rest of your face or they really become pronounce features. That happened to me, except my face just got fatter and fuzzier. I think this new obsession began with Ray. I noticed that his face and head are getting to that stage. I noticed on him more because he's too young for that to happen to him.

Today, also, I saw a guy that used to work as security at my work. His angelic face is no longer angelic, sadly. It's no longer narrow. It's disturbing to me. It makes me think that there's something wrong with my mind; that my memories are inaccurate.

Oh well, I must now go carve off a few hundred pounds.

Shut up already!

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