2001-09-09 - 1:31 a.m.

Dearest Beloved,

Yesterday I had a somewhat interesting dream. The interesting part was that Ray was in it.

I know. Just don't say anything. It's bad enough.

Anyone that will rather not picture this in their little minds please stop reading from this point forward.

The setting: Sea World type arena.

The players: My cousin, the Ray, me, and some other spectators.

My cousin and Ray were watching the event. I couldn't tell what kind of event but it involved the pool where dolphins usually swim around--a relatively small pool.

The seating consisted of those long rows of benches.

So they were talking and kissing. I was sitting on the other side of the arena. My cousin went off somewhere. She possibly went to say hi to some guys she saw nearby.

Next Scene: Ray was now sitting next to me. I don't know how he got to me or why.

Next Scene: I was now sitting in the next lower row of benches in between his legs. His legs were on the next row.

I was teasing him with my hands. I kept looking at him. I was terribly close to his (private) area. I think I was teasing him about me being so close to his hmm, manhood. I said something to him but I got no vocal reaction, just a smile.

Ray was then making fish lips. I think he was signaling me to kiss him. I was not sure. I got close to him and looked at him. He kept making fish lips and a sucking noise. So I went for it...I kissed him. In real life I want to be kissed. I looked at him expecting him to beat me up. I wondered if I was dreaming and if he could really be gay like he is often teased about by his mom and sister. (And me.)

He continued to make the sucking noise and I looked at him to see if he was going to kiss me next. He didn't and so I kissed him again.

Then I dreamt of some other people. I can really remember who they were but they looked familiar. I think that we went to my aunt Socorro's house.

Stupid Ray. You have infiltrated my most sacred of places. My own realm has been penetrated. Wow, horrible choice of words.

This is in no way some sort of repressed desire but an uncontrollable dream that probably has nothing to do with Ray, but my extreme desire to explore my sexuality. Ewwww, i think so too. Bye.

*Don't think you're special now.*

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