2001-08-28 - 2:25 a.m.

Dearest Beloved,

Yesterday I went to my cousin's house after work. I sort of rambled on and on about breaking her up with ray. I don't really want to, nor do I really believe that she or ray has replaced me.

I wish she only knew what happened in the past.

Of why I do like her mom, but cannot forgive for what she did to my mom.

As for my cousin, I only want good things to happen to her. I have nothing against her or what's his name.

I have been feeling unstable these past few days.

No matter.

I need a haircut. I need some money first.

I have to think about going to Otakon.

I must decipher my cousin's motives for inviting me.

Is she inviting me to have a responsible adult? Is she inviting me to share the cost of the hotel? To borrow money? To spend time with me? I don't know what to think. I have lost some trust since she showed me how often she has lied to her mom. All that practice must have become partially automatic.

previous ~ next