2001-08-01 - 11:37 p.m.

Dearest Beloved,

I just don't know what to do with myself. I have absolutely no one to talk to. I try talking to my cousin but she's busy with her own life.

I sink deeper and deeper into a state of mind that isn't healthy. I may or may not be able to get out of it. Also, many of my former high school peers are now graduating or have graduated from college and here I am at Pic N Save. What happened to me?

Yes, true I am lazy, but I am smart. Couldn't the smart part of me just overcome the lazy side?

I went online tonight and I found this website where people register to be found by former high school peers. I went ahead and registered myself, but was not ready for what I saw.

The ones I thought would never register are there and they actually accomplished something with their lives at the very same age as me! Even Tom, the laziest of them all, is in the Navy. He is probably somewhere in Europe while I type this in my bedroom in my parent's apartment.

Empty words aside, I can't, mustn't, sit around, at all. If I am not going to work smart, I should at least work hard. It is better to work hard and burn out than not to work at all.

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